Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright

I'd like to introduce you to the grace and blessing that is #1348.

(I've taken to calling the baby "Charlie" ---we aren't revealing the sex---my mom used to always call her babies "Charlie" before they were born; I'm adopting her little nickname).

So, I'd like to tell you a bit more about our little #1348. We found out last Tuesday that "Charlie" has a heart defect.

Maybe I should back up a bit.

It's been quite a journey for me these past 20 weeks.

I've battled the voices of fear and doubt in my head telling me that I'm not enough.

Fear is a big ole fat liar, by the way. Still, he's so convincing sometimes.


image credit

Anyway, it hasn't been pretty. My heart.

So, I took my ugliness to God. I've spent lots of time with God. I've yelled at him talked to him a lot. I've read a lot about what he says about life, about love, about who he is.

Here's the truth:

I am enough.


image credit

Each moment of each day God gives me---gives you----the grace we need to be enough. Enough for our children. Enough for our spouses. Enough.

Even if you have three under the age of three----you are enough. Yeah, I know. Every day I need new grace to believe that too---especially when there's hair pulling or not-naps going on.

Here's the other truth mixed in with a couple miracles:

I have people praying for me to be amazed.

Are you ready for it?


image credit

As I sat in the ultrasound room teleconferencing with the perinatologist (that's a fancy title for a doctor who takes care of mamas and babies that are at a higher-than-normal risk for complications), I felt calm.

He explained "Charlie's"condition to me---all the degrees of severity, possible treatment options, and what the next steps would be.

So, here it was, that little miracle: I sat there completely calm. I even remember feeling amazed that I wasn't dissolving in a puddle of tears. A calm, pregnant lady being told that something is wrong with her baby.

The nurses kept giving me sideways glances, incredulous that I hadn't crumbled, expecting me to lose it at any moment.

Amazing. 

I believe that through all the time I've been hanging out with God, I was being prepared for this---all of this, and I don't even know yet, what this entails yet.

Something I keep coming back to from my time spent praying and reading and arguing with God is this verse:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ~Lamentations 3:22-23

Or in other words:


image credit

And if I know that to be true. If I believe that with my whole heart, then I am okay. I am always okay. And, "Charlie" is going to be okay too.

If you pray, please pray for our echocardiogram on September 11th that:

• we would have peace while we wait for the appointment
• that the hole in "Charlie's" heart will show signs of shrinking
• that "Charlie" won't need any surgery. 

Linking with Ann and Jen 

UPDATE** After I wrote this. Brad informed me that he didn't like calling our baby "Charlie"---no offense, Mom. Instead, he would like to call our baby "Pat". I can only hope someone out there watched Saturday Night Live back in the day, and knows what the heck I'm talking about, and finds this picture somewhat humorous:

 

I Feel Pretty: Preparations Before Baby

I probably don't need to tell you that having twins has completely rocked my world. Life changed for me the moment those two little girls made their way into the world. What I noticed most of all is the way it changed my beauty routine. While this sounds silly and perhaps a bit shallow, but I'm telling you ladies, if you don't already have kids, there are a few things I have to share with you that you might consider taking care of before they enter the world, because it will just make life just a little easier.


1. Hair--before I had the girls I went to get a haircut. I wanted cute layers, and for my stylist to take some length off, but still leave it somewhat long-ish. If you are breastfeeding like I am this was a complete waste of time. When you're figuring out breastfeeding, you are looking down at your baby(ies), both because he/she/they are new and beautiful and wonderful, and because you want to get the latch correct to avoid all kinds of unpleasantness. As you look down, your hair inevitably follows, falling in your face and on top of the baby(ies). This will eventually exasperate you, and you end up throwing it in a ponytail.

On a walk yesterday with a friend, I was speaking of this, and she said that she's actually asked her stylist to cut her hair above chest level for the purpose of breastfeeding. Isn't my friend smart?! That is an excellent suggestion. I would add that you'll want to make sure that it's still long enough to pull back, and DO go for some cute layers, so that you when you go out on your first postpartum date, you can wear your hair down for a change, and love how it looks!

2. Nails--I got a pedicure with a friend a couple of weeks before I delivered. Now, I know that my OB and all the nurses in the delivery room were not looking at my toes, but I had to look at them then and for the weeks after I delivered (I just finally got my first postpartum pedicure last weekend). I'm glad I got this done, because for the weeks following my delivery, when I was so tired I scarcely remembered deodorant on a daily basis, my toes were pretty, and I liked knowing that at least one part of my body was well groomed and pretty.

3. Make-up--my "beauty" routine was not all that complicated, but before I gave birth I very intentionally came up with a make-up routine that was low-maintenance, and speedy. I wanted to be able to make myself look nice in under five minutes. I'm very glad that I took the time to think this out. It may sound silly, but when you have two babies that require your attention, you learn to do everything fast. My routine, in case you're interested, is concealer and bronzer, which both are SPF 20, mascara, and occasionally eyeliner. Slap on some lip gloss and I can run out the door without looking like I just rolled out of bed. Sometimes I do this even if I'm not running out the door, because I like to feel pretty and put together, even if the only ones around to see it are some of the only people required to love me no matter what I look like, my husband and my daughters.

4. Skin care--I learned very quickly this spring that the sun can get you even when you don't realize it. Get a lotion with sunblock in it. That way if you decide to go for a walk to get your baby to take a nap, you won't end up with a terrible farmer tan that you'll spend the rest of the summer trying to get rid of.
5. Grooming "down there"--I highly recommend a Brazilian wax, or some other form of grooming, before delivery. It gets everything out of the way while you're healing. Enough said.
6. Eye wear--if you wear contacts, make sure that your glasses are the correct prescription. Trust me, the lack of sleep that you are about to experience will make it impossible for you to get those contacts in your eyes sometimes. You'll want to have your glasses handy, and it's probably a good idea for you to be able to see out of them.
7. Foot wear--if you are inclined to wear heels, I strongly recommend that you find some cute flats. You don't want to teeter around on heels while holding your baby, and it will make your feet hurt. I made this mistake on the day the girls got baptized. My feet hurt, because I spent most of the church service standing, and it was raining, so I wasn't nearly as sure-footed as I would have liked to have been while carrying a baby. I also recommend getting a great pair of running/walking shoes, so that you can take your little one for walks in the stroller. This will spur on your postpartum weight loss, and lull your baby to sleep--an excellent combination!
8. Jewelry--I found that dangling earrings follow the same path as my hair does when I'm breastfeeding, so I usually skip them and go for the smaller, non-dangle-y ones. I discovered that they do make a necklace that is designed for a baby to play with while nursing. I don't have one, but I think they are an excellent invention--I'm just not sure how it would go over with the girls since I feed them both at the same time.
These are just a few things to think about if you are not yet a mom. If you have other suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Please feel free to comment. You don't have to have an account to do so.