Monday, July 30, 2012


I haven't had much to say here lately.

I've been struggling a bit, and I've chosen not to drag you into my struggle. Being silent is the best way to do that, I think.

A friend of mine, who prays for me often, prays that I will be amazed through my struggles. In my head, I believe that God will do that----amaze me. Redeem my anxieties, my story, far beyond what I can imagine. But, my heart cries bull shit.

(I said that to a group of friends the other day, which included our pastor's wife. I'm thankful for a pastor's wife who thought that was funny.) 

So, I struggle and I pray to be amazed. That one day, my heart will see the truth that my head knows, so that I won't have to say bull shit anymore (about that).

While praying to be amazed, I've struggled to see the miracles around me.

I've told you here before, I believe everything is a miracle. When I choose to pay attention, listen and take one thing at a time---I believe I can see all those miracles best.


That house that I absolutely fell in love with? We have a contract on it.

So, we are in the process of selling our house. (Know someone who wants to buy a three bedroom home in the St. Louis area? Have we got the place for you!)

If you've ever done this before, you understand the work that goes into getting the house ready for people to walk through it. 

I have often, over the past month, found myself getting our house ready, on short notice, while Brad is at work, or out of town. Frantically mopping the floors, only moments before potential buyers walk in.

Doing this with two toddlers, is no easy feat, as you can imagine, or maybe have experienced, but I have to tell you---I have seen many miracles through it. (1337) I thought I'd share some of those miracles with you today.

The girls know what it means when I tell that people are coming to our house. I often hear them saying, People coming! As they go about their work. And they take it seriously, they get down to business helping me clean. (1338)

They meticulously pick up and put away all their toys and books (1339). I'm often stunned to find things put away---even when I haven't thought to ask them to put it away. (1340)

There is such joy to watch the delight in their little faces helping me get the house ready. (1341) And--they beam, literally beam as I praise them for obeying me, and doing such a great job of cleaning. (1342)

Then, we pray. We pray that God will bless the people that come to see our house, and that the right person will like our house and put an offer on it.

After I say that last part, I look and see Hadley eagerly nodding her head, and Brynne pipes up with an enthusiastic, "Yes!" Fervent prayers, these girls are----joy! (1343)

Once we pray, I load the girls into the car and go back through the house to tidy up last minute things. I'm always finding small miracles of things the girls have done without me even asking during these last-minute sweeps. (1344)

And, this too. Yesterday, we got a bit of rain for the first time since June 16th. (1345) With the city-wide watering restrictions, most of my garden, sadly, looks like this:

But---some of my flowers are still thriving (barely). (1346) I'm delighted to say that when people have come to see the house, there's always been something blooming. (1347)

Linking up with Ann and Jen.


Lauren said...

I hope everything is okay... praying you sell your house soon!

championm2000 said...

From someone who has also had a house on the market with twin toddlers, I send you best wishes for a speedy sell! At least you have adorable help :-)

Jen Ferguson said...

Oh, girl. I've sold a house with toddlers and it is hard work, but it seems you have been so diligent to record all the grace-filled places that He has met you through your kids and your walk.

I love your friend's prayer. I think I will start praying that, too.

Lisa notes... said...

Praying to be amazed. I think that's a bold and faith-building prayer. Amen to how He'll answer it!

Corinne Ritz said...

You are amazing to me! It is so hard to recognize our blessings when going through trials. Just remember that you will come out of it a stronger, more faith filled woman. Thank you for your great example. Your girls have adorable little personalities.

. said...

I know that feeling when you wonder what else can be added to your plate in conjunction with everything else. It seems like it'll never ease up and joys will never be as 'enjoyable' as they used to be. You're doing good though. Keep the head up and things will clear out soon. I'll keep praying for you in the mean time.

Melissa Ann said...

It's not fair! Your girls actually fill out their nightgowns! (and yours don't appear to be falling apart yet either!)

I'm so glad to hear eucharisteo from you again... it's gratitude that changes our hearts.

Love you!

Miss Megan said...

I hope you find the right buyer soon! The girls are adorable helping you clean - what excellent toddler helpers you have!!! Do you give lessons on getting toddlers to obey? =).
Also praying for you - for whatever is going on - hang in there!!!