Monday, July 2, 2012

The one where I use the word "nipple" at least 25 times...

...just so you've been fairly warned.

So, my husband kind of covered this story in this post, but I'm writing it up anyway, because, I think, it begs more conversation. Maybe. Sorry if you read both our blogs. Clearly our lives are not all that exciting, that we both feel the burning need to write posts with the word "nipple" in it---there's number one, if you're counting.

I don't agree with the idea of giving body parts incorrect, dumbed-down, kid names. I even cringe at "ducky" or "horsy". And, I may, or may not have even been known to cross out those words in books to replace them with "duck" and "horse".

I was a biology major, if I do nothing else that that degree, I will teach my children the correct anatomical body parts, so help me!

So, when the girls were still nursing, they used to play with my collar bone and would thump my chest, so I had little one-year-olds that could (and still can) point out their clavicle and their sternum. That lesson was fairly painless.

Awhile back, Megan wrote this post about using some trickier anatomical parts with her girls, and it got me thinking about the time when I'd have to do the same with Brynne and Hadley. Certainly not something I was looking forward to, but one of those things you just have to get through, like pulling off a band-aid, or something.

Anyway, so last night as we're giving the girls a bath, Brynne sticks her finger on Brad's nipple (he was shirtless), and asks what it is.

Taking a deep breath to strengthen my resolve to use proper anatomical terms, dusting off that biology degree, I tell her that it's "Papa's nipple."

Then, she says, "Brynne no nipples." Well, I couldn't have her believing inaccuracies. So, of course I inform her that Brynne has nipples, and point them out for her. I tell her that everyone has nipples.

With this new nugget of information under her belt, she proceeds to name off everyone she's ever met just to make sure that they do, indeed, have nipples.
Mama, nipples? Masi, nipples? Grandpa, nipples?
Etcetera. You get the idea.

At one point Brad informs her that the dogs have nipples.

You should all be really proud of us, though. First of all, because we are stellar parents (insert laughter here). But secondly, we did all of this, even the whole "dogs have nipples" thing, without laughing. I mean, really, this whole "correct anatomical terminology" thing is serious business.

In retrospect, I could have gone with pectoralis major, and avoided the whole "nipple talk". Apparently my biology degree needs a bit more dusting. 

Oiy! Glad we saved vaginas and penises for another day.

10 comments:

Lauren said...

Wow, I can't believe you were able to wait until now for nipples! That happened at least 9 months ago for us. And I can't believe that you haven't covered penises and vaginas yet! Or at least vaginas. We have always referred to Noah's penis as a penis (not excessively, but like in the tub: "Stand up Noah, we need to wash your penis and your bum.") And he recently found out about vaginas when he started pointing to me when I was peeing or changing and saying "That's your penis."

I'm with you, I can't stand the ridiculous names for body parts. I don't love the real names, either, but I refuse to call something a "wee wee" or a "pee pee" or something stupid like that.

Holly Tumpkin said...

hilarious. reminds me of my friend whose son had learned penis and vagina, and at a dinner party at our house proceeded to ask her if everyone at the table had a penis and a vagina. It was a large dinner table, so I didn't hear it at my end, but she and her husband were answering in panicked whispered tones...hahahhaha

Miss Megan said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Being a nursing momma again, the girls have this new found (or perhaps renewed?) fascination with my nipples (and consequently their nipples, then everyone else's nipples) HA! I'm glad you avoided the penis and vagina talk...at least for today....I'm still trying to figure out how to explain to almost 2 year olds how milk comes out of momma's nipples, but not daddy's nipples...oye! I'm open to suggestions...=)
You go girl! Keep it going with the anatomical terms!!!

Cecilia said...

Ha I love it. We also try to use correct terms. My girls call their vaginas, "baginas". Cracks me up. They also have proclaimed my breasts as, " very cute boobies".

Mari said...

Thanks for the laugh!

championm2000 said...
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championm2000 said...
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championm2000 said...

After reading this post, I am even more embarassed of my poor handling of body part names. Stay tuned for a day when I admit what our two have been calling male parts :-)

The Guddats said...

I thought this post was hilarious! I also have my biology degree and feel the need to call anatomical parts by their correct name. The boys have not begun repeating the word penis...yet.

I will confess that at times I call our dogs "doggies" but that is as far as it goes.

Corinne Ritz said...

HAHHAHA!!! Funny! I totally believe in using the correct names of body parts. I feel that it is part of teaching respect for our bodies. However, I never thought about not calling animals cuter versions of what they are:) We use Horsey, doggie, ducky etc a lot. But my husband's first bachelors is in zoology, and my kids get tons of education in that area. My two year old uses the cute names. If my 13 year old was using the cute names, then I would be worried. HAHHAHA