Thursday, December 23, 2010

Neosporin to the Soul

Words are powerful. Words matter.

They can be a piercing dagger to the heart or a soothing salve to the aching soul.

I have been working on a post for over a week that you will never see. It chronicled my meandering journey through the thorny thicket of forgiveness. It was raw. Real. I thoughtfully weighed each word. It took me forever to get out what I wanted to say. It was emotional, excruciating even, like tearing out a piece of my soul and putting it down on paper (virtually speaking). Some of it was ugly, some of it was harsh, some of it espoused hope---all of it was authentic. After I'd written it all down and had my husband read it over, I opted not to publish it. Some times it is better to leave things unsaid. Words are powerful.

On forgiveness, I pray to one day be able to forgive a la Corrie ten Boom. Most of you have probably heard of her; she forgave a cruel Nazi prison guard who held her captive during the Holocaust. Describing that experience here are her words:

For a long moment we grasped each other's hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then.

Nothing, NOTHING I will ever experience comes close to the atrocities she forgave. Humbling, isn't it? Her words are powerful.

I will say this too. A sweet sister reminded me that my experiences, however disappointing, are the experiences that my wild, dangerous, unfettered, good God wants for me. Another Corrie quote:

God does not have problems. Only plans.

How, then, can I continue to wallow in unforgivingness when this is what my God wants for me? I can't, it is incongruous.

I must be careful. This platform I have to write is powerful, because words are powerful. As I was writing my unpublished (soon to be deleted) work, I read this:

Only speak words that make souls stronger.

I want my words to be authentic, genuine, and real. I also want them to be encouraging, full of grace and love. I pray I can do both. I pray that the words that dance off my lips and the words that flow from my heart into my fingers onto my keyboard, make souls stronger. I want to be the Neosporin, not the dagger.

4 comments:

Melissa Ann said...

Amen :) I fighting through this right now as I read the Pioneer Parenting book we talked about. Ug... I may have to read that book a dozen times over ;)

Anonymous said...

Never feel regret for the emotions you feel but always take ownership for the reactions you make. We all have negative thoughts and feelings but I love the way you handled this "area of opportunity", very corporate terms, right? :)Whatever this challenge may be, so soon will pass, luv. I hope that by writing it down, if for your eyes only, helped to ease the pain. I love your heart and inspiring words!! xo, Lai

Anonymous said...

I have always felt that forgiveness, in God's eyes, is the only practical way to emotionally survive in this world. That is, if you want to be happy. I don't know what is eating at your soul - we all have something that does! - but know that forgiveness is His way of being practical. Even if God was not a part of your journey, forgiveness would STILL be practical. How's that for deep theology?! :0)
Liesl

Anonymous said...

I have always felt that forgiveness, in God's eyes, is the only practical way to emotionally survive in this world. That is, if you want to be happy. I don't know what is eating at your soul - we all have something that does! - but know that forgiveness is His way of being practical. Even if God was not a part of your journey, forgiveness would STILL be practical. How's that for deep theology?! :0)
Liesl