I have many mantras that I recite to myself through out the day. Some days I need them more than others, but they are always there for me to fall back on when times are tough.
Mantra #1: Sometimes babies cry. I know--duh, right? But sometimes the girls have been fed, changed, burped, have just woken up from a nap, and are being held and they still cry. I think I read somewhere that babies cry a total of three hours every day. That sounds like an awful lot to me, and some days I'd believe that our girls just might meet that quota, other days I'm pretty sure they fall under the three hour mark--maybe I should give myself a star on those days. For the rest of the days where the three hour mark is achieved and surpassed, I remind myself that, sometimes, babies are just going to cry, and that's okay.
Mantra #2: You can only do what you can do. A dear old friend of mine says this all the time. I love her for giving me this mantra (and lots of other reasons too, Jessica). I often stress about how I care for the girls. Some days I feel like I can't give either one of them what they need, because I can't devote my attention to them one at a time during the day. So--I worry and stress that they aren't reaching developmental milestones, getting enough learning opportunities, or that they are lacking healthy bonding and attachment, because of my limitations--limitations being that there are not more than one of me. It is during times like this that I remind myself that I can only do what I can do, because I am only one person, and I am doing the best that I can. And really--people have been having twins since the beginning of time, and most of them turn out well, even better for it, so it's probably going to be okay. I just try to think of all the lessons in patience and sharing that my daughters are learning, just by being a twin.
Mantra #3: I am not in control. Giving birth to my daughters has shaken my faith to the core (in a good way). I spend more time now in conversation with God than I ever have before in my entire life! Of course, I don't have control of my life, but I like to feel like I do. Enter, my daughters. Now there is even more that I don't have control over, and the world is one scary, unpredictable place. I pray constantly for God to take care of my daughters, and to equip me to be the best mother I can be to them, because that is all I can do. Being a parent is hands down the most important thing that I will ever do, and I want to do it well.
Mantra #4: God doesn't give me more than I can handle. So, I figure since he decided to give me twins, he must think I can handle a whole heck of a lot. So--when I get to feeling particularly overwhelmed, I just tell myself that he isn't going to give me more than I can handle, and promptly pray that he'll show me what I need to do.
I'm sure there are more that I'm not remembering, but these are the biggies. They help me through my days, and maybe they can help you too.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
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2 comments:
You are doing a great job Julia, I can tell from your blogs. The first 6 mos are the hardest and then it gradually gets easier. No, we are never in control and it's good to learn that early on in parenting:) I'm enjoying your posts and can tell you adore those little ladies in your life!
You are doing a great job Julia, I can tell from your blogs. The first 6 mos are the hardest and then it gradually gets easier. No, we are never in control and it's good to learn that early on in parenting:) I'm enjoying your posts and can tell you adore those little ladies in your life!
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