Two Things

Just two quick things:

1. If you have not seen it yet---my husband posted a very short video of our girls from this past weekend. It's, arguably, the cutest thing ever! Guaranteed to make you smile!

2. Someone took a picture of all us models dolled up at the hair show. The dress they had me wear is the most expensive dress I've ever worn (my wedding dress included) and, while I know it's what the kids are wearing these days, it really, uncomfortably, self-consciously short.



Who wants to guess which two girls cried about their hair?

Celebrating God-Glimmers

Two years ago my arms and my heart became very full of good things.

The moment this picture was taken, I had no idea how much these two little ones would s t r e t c h me outside of my belly. How often I would be brought to the end of myself. Weaknesses I didn't even know I had, exposed. My desperate need for sleep bringing me overwhelmed and weeping to my knees, which, thanfully, stopped me from running into walls for a moment.

All of that struggle, though? It's brought me to a place where I celebrate. I celebrate gifts, small graces--even when it seems impossible. I find the gift: the breath of a whining toddler, the snuggles of a feverish girl with an ear infection at 2AM. I fight to see that minscule speck of grace.

Don't get me wrong. I don't love every moment of parenting. Sometimes it just sucks. But I've found that peering through the reeds of the suckiness, there is a glimmer of something good--always. Because God is always, and he is good always. I've learned that parenting is far less sucky when you can cling to those God-glimmers, raise them up and say, Yes! Thank you! This is just slightly less sucky, because ___________.

One year ago today, we celebrated making it through a really brutiful (beautiful and brutal) year.

It's never a party till a sock monkey shows up!

Today--two years since Hadley and Brynne entered our lives. My cup overflows. My heart swells with joy. Glimmers everywhere! We get to celebrate that brutiful day those two girls wriggled into the world again!

Specially Christmas a.k.a. The one where I use the word "special" at least 62 times

On Christmas, my father-in-law plopped a brown paper bag in everyone's lap.

We opened them at the same time. Contents included:

• an orange
• some hard candy
• a candy cane
• an assortment of nuts

He told us he wanted us to see what his treat was every Christmas when he was growing up 50+ years ago. This treat was so special, that he vividly remembered after all this time.

Before I go on, this is NOT a post poo-pooing giving gifts at Christmas, if that's what you're thinking. It blesses my heart to give and to receive thoughtful and intentional gifts. So, please read on, knowing that's not where I'm headed.

I do believe that sometimes we lose the special. There's so much, and the holidays can be so harried, stressful, overwhelming, _____________ (you fill in the blank), that nothing stands out as special.

This Christmas was so exciting for me and Brad. Our girls are old enough to get excited, and we were excited about their excited.

Along with excited, we want to make Christmas meaningful and special. I think we have to be intentional about making Christmas special, and that takes planning and work. I'm not sure we've quite landed on our unique special yet, but we're working on it.

I've read lots of great ideas about this via the blog world recently of Mamas who have embraced Christmas and lovingly included their children in fun activities to make Christmas special:

• Helene included her children in baking cookies
• Mandy let her babes in the kitchen to make marshmallow snowmen and ice cream cone trees
• Lisa plays "Elf on the Shelf" with her three kiddos
• Melissa made some of her littles' Christmas gifts this year (Gotta love Pinterest!)
• Katie bundled up her twins and walked around looking at Christmas lights.

The above is not always easy for us mamas, I tell you---embracing the chaos that comes along with giving our lovies meaningful and memorable experiences requires lots of yoga breathing (and wine) sometimes.

So, this is what I'm thinking:

(I know Christmas is over. Then New Years will be over. It will still be cold outside, but there won't be any Christmas lights to look at, which quite frankly, depresses me--especially when there's no snow on the ground, in which I can at least take cute pictures of our girls all bundled up.)

I'd love to read and share your Christmas stories---keep the spirit of Christmas alive a bit longer---at least until that groundhog does his thing. I'd love to read about how you make Christmas special in your family.

It can be:

• a tradition
• an activity
• a special book you read
• yummy food you eat
• games you play
• maybe something beautiful and wonderful happened this Christmas that you want to share?

This is an invitation for you to guest post those stories here! Or, if you've shared them on your own blog already, please leave the link in the comment section!

I know there are lots of beautiful stories out there that can keep January sparkling (even if there's no snow on the ground).

If you're interested in guest posting, please email me pontifications (at) hotmail (dot) com

I look forward to hearing from you!!

(My husband thinks this is cheesy, "but that's okay," he says---so, you've got Papa's stamp of approval to guest post--sort of).

The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy: This Twin Mama's Perspective

I don't claim to be a controversial person. Honestly, controversy makes me twitch uncomfortably.

The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy article in the New York Times Magazine has sparked tons of controversy among the multiples community and the Christian community.

If you don't know anything about the article, here's a quick summary:

Any woman going through assisted reproductive therapy (ART) knows there is a great chance of conceiving multiples. A growing trend among those twin pregnancies is to reduce the pregnancy from two babies to just one baby.

A quote from the article states:

Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, one of the largest providers of the procedure, reported that by 1997, 15 percent of reductions were to a singleton. Last year, by comparison, 61 of the center’s 101 reductions were to a singleton, and 38 of those pregnancies started as twins.

________________________________________________________________________________

So, about not being controversial....

I am the mama of twins.

Of course, my husband and I believe our girls are the most beautiful creatures to ever walk the planet.

As a stay-at-home mama, I'm the curator of these two priceless works of art.

I live the hard stuff. I had a rough pregnancy, and now I'm out-numbered with two toddlers. I can do hard things, I tell myself over, and over, and over.  

Too, I see the joy; the gifts Brynne and Hadley's very being is to our lives. Just last night we watched the girls make a game out of kissing each other in the bathtub. Giggles galore!

My heart swells, and the hard stuff fades.

________________________________________________________________________________

If you haven't stopped to read the article, this is how it starts out:

As Jenny lay on the obstetrician’s examination table, she was grateful that the ultrasound tech had turned off the overhead screen. She didn’t want to see the two shadows floating inside her. Since making her decision, she had tried hard not to think about them, though she could often think of little else. She was 45 and pregnant after six years of fertility bills, ovulation injections, donor eggs and disappointment — and yet here she was, 14 weeks into her pregnancy, choosing to extinguish one of two healthy fetuses, almost as if having half an abortion. As the doctor inserted the needle into Jenny’s abdomen, aiming at one of the fetuses, Jenny tried not to flinch, caught between intense relief and intense guilt.

I'm all for grace, and seeking understanding. I've never walked in Jenny's shoes. I can't imagine what it's like to be her. What's described above sounds gut-wretching to experience. In fact, it leaves me on the verge of tears.

But not for Jenny.

Jenny's decision was based on a lifestyle choice:

Jenny’s decision to reduce twins to a single fetus was never really in doubt. The idea of managing two infants at this point in her life terrified her. She and her husband already had grade-school-age children, and she took pride in being a good mother. She felt that twins would soak up everything she had to give, leaving nothing for her older children.

I think about the twin who gets to live without knowing the joy of playing kissing games in the bathtub.

Because, he (or she) is a twin, even if he's the only one living.

Okay, so I am sad for Jenny too. I think about what she's missing, what she lacked the courage to experience. Those kissing games in the bathtub are priceless. My daughters are masterpieces.

Jenny didn't just destroy a shadow on an ultrasound, she destroyed a masterpiece.

_______________________________________________________________________________

We have a dear friend with a 3D/4D ultrasound business. From the time our girls were 12 weeks, their celebrity status rivaled those Twilight kids. We, the paparazzi, desperately wanted to see the two works of art God was knitting in my womb, to see to see their little faces.

I want to show you some of the pictures from when the girls were 14 weeks. Our masterpieces.

I can't help but wonder what Jenny's decision would have been if she'd seen her little ones this way.



Hush Little Baby

When the girls were first born, I hated listening to them cry. I desperately sought to soothe/fix whatever the cause of their tears might be.

During my desperately-needed, long-overdue shower one evening, my husband was taking care of the girlies. In a moment of I-just-don't-know-what-to-do-ness, he did what any great father would do...

...he grabbed the camera. Nice.



You can read more about his shenanigans on his new blog, Papa Two Twin Girls.

What do you think? Should carry this around to show all those people who say, Oh, I always wanted to have twins?
______________________________________________________________________________

Love pictures of crying babies? Head on over to Marcia's to see a whole collection of them!

Baby Deer

There's a mama polar bear with her twin polar bear babies, just like Brynne and Hadley.

flip

There's a mama orangutan holding her baby orangutan.

flip

There's a mama whale and a baby whale.

flip

There's a mama duck with all her ducklings. Quack, quack, quack.

flip

There's a baby deer drinking milk from her mama...

Today I had to choke back

...just like Brynne and Hadley do.

_____________________________________________

It's been part of the story, our story, for 18 months.

But, as with all good stories, they must come to an end.

My prayer was that it would be a peaceful end. For all of us.

Thank you, Jesus.

___________________________________________

Afterthought: I had no idea I was weaning during World Breastfeeding Week. I'm not sure if this makes it better or worse.

Swiffer

Our house is almost entirely wood floors. In my efforts to keep those floors free of pesky dust bunnies, I break out the Swiffer frequenly.  

This past week, the girls saw the Swiffer, and wanted to take their turn Swiffering. After I'd gotten the dust up, I refilled the Swiffer with a fresh Swiffer Sweeper (try saying that five times fast).

The girls went at it for a half an hour, and even picked up a bit of dust that their mama missed.

Sweet!

And, yes, I am planning on busting these pictures out any time they complain about chores. I'll remind them that they used to scramble for their turn at the Swiffer. 

The Cutest Little Fire Fighters You Ever Did See

My girls love trucks.

Garbage trucks.
Recycling trucks.
UPS trucks.
Fed Ex trucks.
Dump trucks.
Fire trucks.

Anytime they hear a loud truck-sounding engine, they rush to the window, and clamor for the best spot to view said truck.

It's pretty adorable, actually.

This past Saturday, Brad's company had their annual picnic. Part of the entertainment was a fire truck from the local fire department.

The girls were enthralled with all things fire truck. Hadley insisted on putting her hat on immediately, and paged through her fire fighter coloring book the entire way home. And, both she and Brynne made the fire engine noise sporadically for the rest of the day.

(Please excuse the silly look on my face, it was very hot that day--the temperature was over 100 degrees and sweat was pooling in my bra, I can't be responsible for the expressions on my face in conditions like those).

The fun didn't stop once we were hunkered down in the chill of our air-conditioned home.

Brynne was rockin' the pigtails, and she wanted you to see just how cute they are, so she just held her hat a lot. 

If you have a chance to take your kids to see fire trucks, they will love you for it!



Comeback

Girl, you've sure got your hands full!

I hear some variation of these words a lot when we're in public. It's the one line I didn't have a good comeback for.

Uh oh! Double trouble!
Comeback: No, double blessings!

As the girls have grown older, and astound me every day with how much they understand, the "hands full" phrase has bothered me more and more. I hadn't found a positive way to spin it, so I usually just smiled awkwardly, and remain silent.

I never want the girls to interpret those words to mean that they are a bother, inconvenience or a nuisance. They are gifts. And while, it's not always easy---I feel blessed beyond measure to have these two little gifts, and I want the girls to hear that and know that.

So, I hadn't come up with a good comeback, until now.

Conversation yesterday in Michael's:

Well intentioned cashier: Girl, you've sure got your hands full!
Me: Yes, full of good things. 

 I was grinning from ear to ear as I walked out the door!

10 Things I've Learned About Toddlers (So Far)

1. Food tastes better when it's attached to a spoon or fork.

2. Toddlers want to do it themselves. That makes the food taste even better. 

3. Toddlers fall down. A lot. It's okay; don't freak out, even though you want to. Most of the time they just shake it off, but they will cry if they see that you're upset. Use your best p-p-p-p-poker face.

4. Toddlers will get lots of unexplainable scrapes and bruises (see #3).

5. Toddlers like to help pick up (and sometimes they even clean). "Go pick up the yellow stacking cup," or "What else belongs in this bag?" They're smart little whips---my girls get so excited when they figure out what toy I'm referring to, and quickly toddle over. My girls actually race to see who can pick up the toy first. I know, I'm milking this one for all it's worth!

Here is a picture of Hadley wiping down a board book with a dryer sheet, actually. I think she's seen me sterilize every page of every board book with antibacterial wipes a few too many times. Whatever. I'll take it!

6. Toddlers love, love, love to go outside. It's a great way for them to burn off energy!

7. Toddlers need baths more frequently. See #2 and #6.

8. Don't underestimate your toddler. Here's my husband's facebook status the other night:

Apparently Hadley did not like us using Eucerin on her dry skin. I found the jar of it floating in the toilet...with the toilet lid down...and the child proof safety latch in the locked position. She's good. Maybe too good.

9. Toddlers love to be praised! Everyone wants to hear that they're doing a good job. Praise a toddler, and you'll get more of a good thing. When we go outside, the rule is that the girls must hold my hand. Hadley likes to let go and venture off on her own. The other night when she was about to let go, I told her what a great job she was doing of holding my hand. You know what? She smiled at me and tightened her grip.

10. Jedi mind tricks work on your toddler.  If one of the girls is doing what they are supposed to, I heap on the praise. The other twin quickly follows suit (see #9).

Moments Like These

Awhile back Multiples and More posed the question, "Does it get easier?"

I wanted to respond, I really did. Every time I think about those early days with two itty bitty infants I seriously get tears in my eyes.

It. Was. SO. Hard.

I was incredibly overwhelmed.

I fought tears every day as my husband walked out the door to go to work. He plays in a baseball league every spring/summer/fall--I prayed like no body's business for rain last season.

Being by myself with two infants was incredibly hard. I was outnumbered and felt completely and totally unqualified to be a mama.

I couldn't figure out how to get them down for naps consistently.
It seemed like they cried if I left them for even a second.
I felt like all I did was nurse them.

Hardest thing I've ever done!
__________________________________________________

I think it does get easier. Some would disagree, and say it's always hard, just a different kind of hard.

It definitely gets more fun!

There are moments like these:

 Priceless!

All the stress, all the tears, all the "overwhelmedness".

Totally worth it!

Ten on Tuesday

1. Mamas (or soon to be mamas), you've gotta check out the Daily Peppermint. It's the genius idea created by Andrea. Every day, one short, useful tip will show up in your email inbox. It's short, it's sweet---perfect for busy moms! I'm flattered that Andrea asked me to be a contributor. If you've got a tip, there's a spot to add it on the site.

2. I'm not about to start a debate on nurture vs. nature, but I will say this: I don't wear necklaces. If I did, the girls would yank them off. Every.single.day. my daughters have to wear their link necklaces. I have no idea where this comes from. I'm not modeling it. I'm not teaching it. It is pretty cute though.

3. Last week I mentioned I'd gotten some prints from A Happy Exchange. This shop is awesome! The very talented, Jillian, gives you the print (you just pay shipping). In exchange, she asks that you share one of the following with her: your greatest joy and how you  incorporate that into every day life, tell her how her art makes you feel, or send her a letter or note telling her how you gave to someone and how that made you feel.  

Isn't that just beautiful?! You can also find Jillian over here.

I got these three prints for the girls' room:

I love gardening, which is a love I want to pass on to the girls. And the girls just love ducks. Hadley is working on perfecting her quacking noises.

4. So. When I was in sixth grade, I won a jump rope contest in gym class. Out of the entire school, I could jump the most times in one minute. 144 times. I have no idea why I still remember this.

20 years later, in bootcamp, they had jump rope contest. Guess who won? That's right, I did. This chick's still got it two decades later! 153 jumps! Woo hoo!

5. A big thank you to Mandy at My Life as Described by Twin Trials and Triumphs for the Life is Sweet Award. Mandy is the mama to twin girls a year and a month older than Brynne and Hadley, so I pay close attention, because I know in a year my girls will be about where hers are now. From her post, you can see that Mandy is lovely and intentional. She is also a fabulous southern gal who loves Crimson Tide football, ice cream and riding in the car with the sunroof open--she's hilarious and spunky, if you don't read her blog, you should!

6. If I could point your attention to a couple blogs that might be new or interesting to you:

(Tw)inside Out. This mama chronicles her life with her boy/girl twins that she calls Inchworm and Doodlebug. She's funny, passionate, and finds time to make her own stock to cook with--amazing! If you do nothing else today, you should read this post.

the climb. Cyndi is a lovely mama, also to eight month old boy/girl twins. She balances work and mothering with a gentle grace. She is currently in need of some help getting them to sleep, so if you can lend a hand, please do.  

7. I decided this spring/summer that I needed to invest in a "mom" wardrobe. I currently have about 23 pairs of black pants collecting dust in my closet. I got those pants when I worked in an office. Now, my office is at home with the girls. I've added a couple pairs of capris. I wanted them to be quick drying, look nice enough to go out and about, but also be appropriate for taking walks, bending stooping, sitting on the floor, etc. If you have any suggestions to add to my "mom" wardrobe, I'm all ears!

8. Hadley's bangs are getting really long. I don't want to trim and maintain bangs. I'd like to part her hair and put it up, but here's the trouble: her hemangioma. It's in the way, and makes it difficult to find a part. Any suggestions? I need help, and clearly Hadley agrees:

9. Tomorrow I will be 32 years old. I can remember when my parents turned 30. This makes me feel old.

10. When I was writing this post I calculated that I will be 49 years old when the girls graduate from high school. That makes me feel ancient! It also makes me wonder if I would be able to win another jump rope challenge when I'm 49.  

I Will Never...

If I could give you a bit of advice? Don't utter the words, "I will never..." when in comes to parenting.

Or, on second thought--do. Then you'll have something to laugh about later.
___________________________________________

When Brad and I discovered that we were having twin girls, we vowed not to dress them alike.

At first, I think it was because we feared not being able to tell them apart. Then, it became about wanting them to be individuals, and treating them as such.
__________________________________________

Two Sundays ago, it was a gorgeous day, so we decided to take the girls to the park.

As we were swinging, I could see it coming. She was smiling in our direction, she wanted to get our attention. And then, the question.

Lady: Are they twins?

Ugh! For whatever reason, I was not feeling particularly gracious that day. I pasted a fake grin on my face while my husband, graciously, answered:

Yes.

He's so good at being succinct.

But, the lady wasn't satisfied, she had to comment:

Good thing you had a boy and a girl.

My fake grin is now gone, and I'm glaring. Brynne and Hadley both had pink on, and their cute little Pedipeds.

Again, my gracious husband to the rescue:

Actually, they are both girls. 

Lady: Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't see their shoes. 

As we're walking away, I tell Brad that I guess it's not a "good thing" anymore since we didn't have a boy and a girl. Really?! What kind of a comment is that?!

We walk around the corner, to get away from that lady, and we are accosted stopped by another lady.

It was like Groundhog Day. Sonny and Cher's, I Got You Babe, was cuing up again.

Lady: Are they twins?

Gracious husband: Yes

Lady: A boy and a girl?

Are you kidding me?! I think I might have audibly groaned.

Gracious husband: Two girls.

Lady: They are so beautiful (at least she felt bad about calling my daughter a boy!)

___________________________________________________

The next day I had to go to Target to get a few things. I decided, against our vowing and my I will nevers, that I would dress the girls identically.

I did this because, I just couldn't be gracious to one. more. person. who asked me if my two daughters, who are, clearly, the same age and size, are twins. AND, if this, well meaning, probably an old grandma, so much as thought that one of them was a boy, I might have punched her.

So, there you have it. I caved. My girls were twinkies for a day. And you know? It wasn't so bad.

Dear Harvard,

I realize that the freshman class of 2028 may not be on your radar just yet, but I wanted to keep you apprised of two little girls that you are really going to want at your university. In fact, I would go so far as to say that you should go ahead and put them on your waiting list, right now.

You might be wondering how I can make such a bold statement when my girls are just north of a year. I'm happy to explain.

Parenting Magazine came out with a great checklist in their April 2011 issue to determine if your child is gifted, or just smart. This list gives me and thousands of other mamas the opporunity to determine that my daughters are gifted, just like that!

I know you need evidence. I've compiled a summary of my findings below:

1. The girls have impressive memories. Hadley only had to be shown one time how to blow kisses sign "thank you".
2. They both have great, very sophisticated senses of humor. Burps and toots don't result in so much as a smile.
3. They play intensely. They will pour over puzzles and books for hours.
4. They have unbounded intellectual energy. They will tirelessly try to figure out how things work.
5. They are great problem solvers too. Brynne will look at a toy under the couch from every angle before determining the best method of retrieval
6. They are self-starters--they practically teach themselves!
7. They have great creative instincts--they love making music and love to dance with or without music.

I can now say, with absolute certainty, that my daughters are geniuses. It really would be in your best interest to snatch them up before it's too late.

Sincerely,

Julia Jenkins

St. Patrick's Day

We hope you all have a fabulous holiday yesterday! We enjoyed this lovely, 83 degree day, by, among other things, dining outside.

I realize this is not our first St. Patrick's Day, as the bibs suggest, but in the interest of being festive, I busted them out again.

Last year we were SO little. We really didn't get to enjoy them.

365...

...days of noises through the baby monitor.



...days of interrupted sleep.



...days of pumping. (the pump is over my shoulder--what?! Did you think I would actually take a picutre of that?)



...days of breastfeeding. (You probably don't want to see that either, but that's the pillow where all the magic happens.)



...days of diaper changes.



...days of cries to communicate needs.



...days of putting binks in mouths.



...days of baby snuggles.



...days of that delicious smell of babies' heads.



...days of laughter.

...days of prayers for good sleep.





...days of babies in slings.



...days of thanksgiving.



...days of wonderment and joy at these two precious gifts we've been given.



Happy birthday, Hadley!

Day 1:

Day 365:

Happy birthday, Brynne!

Day 1:



Day 365: