The moment this picture was taken, I had no idea how much these two little ones would s t r e t c h me outside of my belly. How often I would be brought to the end of myself. Weaknesses I didn't even know I had, exposed. My desperate need for sleep bringing me overwhelmed and weeping to my knees, which, thanfully, stopped me from running into walls for a moment.
All of that struggle, though? It's brought me to a place where I celebrate. I celebrate gifts, small graces--even when it seems impossible. I find the gift: the breath of a whining toddler, the snuggles of a feverish girl with an ear infection at 2AM. I fight to see that minscule speck of grace.
Don't get me wrong. I don't love every moment of parenting. Sometimes it just sucks. But I've found that peering through the reeds of the suckiness, there is a glimmer of something good--always. Because God is always, and he is good always. I've learned that parenting is far less sucky when you can cling to those God-glimmers, raise them up and say, Yes! Thank you! This is just slightly less sucky, because ___________.
One year ago today, we celebrated making it through a really brutiful (beautiful and brutal) year.
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| It's never a party till a sock monkey shows up! |
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