Friday, May 21, 2010

May I Have Your Attention, Please?

Babies attract attention. As a parent of a new baby, you will inevitably run into several different types of people. The first kind are the people that will "Ooh and ah" over your little one without directly speaking to you. The second kind are those who will directly speak to you about how beautiful your child is, and how great it is to be a parent, maybe even comment on how blessed you are (while this is true, when you've had next to no sleep for the past five nights in a row, this is not a particularly helpful thing to hear). Next are the parents who have some sort of comment to make, as if they know exactly what it is like to parent your child saying things like, "I bet you're not getting much sleep" (these people make me want to divulge that our girls are sleeping through the night, the only reason I don't is because it is none of their business, nor is it helpful, just as their initial statement is not helpful). These people really aren't looking for a response, they just want to let you know that they know more about being a parent to your child than you do. Worst of all, you'll have those especially brazen individuals who feel like they should talk to you and bestow to you, a perfect stranger, parenting advice. The last kind are the ones that I have to especially bite my tongue. I realize those people really think they have it all figured out, but really, most people don't launch into parenthood anymore without reading a few dozen books on the way it's done--we've all heard the titles that start with word phrases like What to expect..., healthy sleep..., happiest baby...--I mean, with words like that in the title, you'd be foolish not to at least skim the book before becoming a parent. Suffice to say, I think we've done our homework.

I have quickly learned that twins attract attention times two. Perhaps you've even caught yourself gawking at a family that has twins. This phenomenon has been something to get used to as we've bravely ventured out into public on a more regular basis. I've found it both amusing and annoying to answer, "yes," when asked, "Are they twins?" One of these days I'm liable to smart off something about being able to gestate at a breakneck pace, or admit to stealing the second baby from the hospital. Perhaps this is another one of those moments when people should contemplate their words before they speak. When there are two babies close in age being cared for by the same parent--chances are good that they are twins, it's okay to go ahead and assume this. So, we field this, often in addition to the regular "baby attention."

After a venting session to my dear friend while on a walk at Creve Coeur Lake, we decided it would be entertaining to count the number of people who made comments, or otherwise gave our family attention. Grand total--14. Yup, on a short, call it a three mile walk, we encountered 14 people who had something to say about or to the mama with the two little babies. One woman even started veering over towards us as she was running. Perhaps in addition to being a sight to behold, twins carry some sort of magnetic force field that physically draws curious spectators towards us. Who knows?

4 comments:

Angela said...

Hi Julia--I like your blog. It's funny what draws people's attention...at Creve Coeur Lake I'm far more likely to comment on puppies than babies. Different stages in life, I guess =)

Amy Bickner said...

Hello Julia,
I love reading your take on parenthood. It is a different and special journey for each of us. My experience with the “baby attention” left a big imprint on my memories. When Ava, our oldest, was born she was missing her upper lip and a nostril. Unfortunately, most of the attention she received was negative. She was happy, healthy and perfect. While her defect was only cosmetic most people react very rudely. Then my husband and I were approached by a little old lady while having lunch. I braced myself for the usual reaction. However, she coed and lavished wonderful attention on our beautiful little baby girl. It was a perfect memory and one of my favorite. There always is a silver lining.

Amy Dempsey-Bickner

Shell said...

Hmmm... oh the comments that come to mind :) When I saw the title posted on FB I got a little excited and was brought to a smile and snicker. I'll share my other comments the next time we meet :) Love ya!

Amy Bickner said...

Hello Julia,
I love reading your take on parenthood. It is a different and special journey for each of us. My experience with the “baby attention” left a big imprint on my memories. When Ava, our oldest, was born she was missing her upper lip and a nostril. Unfortunately, most of the attention she received was negative. She was happy, healthy and perfect. While her defect was only cosmetic most people react very rudely. Then my husband and I were approached by a little old lady while having lunch. I braced myself for the usual reaction. However, she coed and lavished wonderful attention on our beautiful little baby girl. It was a perfect memory and one of my favorite. There always is a silver lining.

Amy Dempsey-Bickner