Friday, February 4, 2011

MOTY, Baby!

Yup, Mom Of The Year (MOTY), that's me!

We kept the girls alive for 365 days.

Last night we toasted to their births at 7:45 and 7:51 respectively, and were feeling pretty darn proud of ourselves.

This morning, on day 366, I let the girls dine on this:




Yes, it is tree fungus.

There is a fungus among us.

Apparently, it had fallen off some of our firewood. I found it chewed and discarded in a pile of slobber on our living room floor. I had no idea which one chewed on it, or if they had ingested any.

I risked my fingers to go fishing around in the mouths of uncooperative little girls, with razor sharp chompers, for some evidence of fungus, but came up empty.

Now, when something bad happens, I typically am as cool as a cucumber jump to all kinds of horrible conclusions. Being a biology major, I figured I should know more than the average bear about fungus. From the recesses of my scattered brain, I recalled my Botany professor, Dr. Lang, telling us about an old colleague of his that, mistakenly, ate a poisonous mushroom and died a very unpleasant death, alone, in the middle of a forest.

Awesome! So glad that memory popped into my head.

I'm picturing myself in the ER with two crying babies, getting both their stomachs pumped (just to make sure).

Deep breath.

I call my husband, who does not answer his phone.

With my panic level rising, I turn to my friend, Google. I find all kinds of pictures of fungi, and identify, what, I think, is the culprit. Nothing to indicate it's poisonous though.

My husband calls me back. Some research, and a few phone calls later, we determined that the girls have a pretty good shot at making it to day 367.

If you want, you can come over to see my MOTY award. I have it proudly displayed on our mantle.

8 comments:

Christina said...

Lol, I'm glad they are going to make it past the fungus! :) I would of panicked too!

jjiraffe said...

Ha! But, seriously, there should be a merit badge involved once your twins hit one. In fact, there should be a whole new merit SYSTEM for mothers of twins.

Congrats!

Melissa Ann said...

Oh, this cracked me up! As the mother of daughters who I've trained to look for acorns at the local park because I don't want them chewing on pressure treated mulch, I'm pretty laid back about this sort of thing. ;) But whenever I see a spray bottle of chemicals out in the open I panic! We use a spray bottle of water to wet their behinds before wiping and they think that it's a sippy cup. They actually learned to suck water out of the spray bottle before they ever figured out a sippy. So if Clorox clean up is on my bathroom floor, I run panicked to smell their breath :)

Kendra said...

Oh goodness! I would have panicked big time! You handled it with such grace =). So glad they are ok. And here's to another 365, huh? =)

Twinside Out said...

Hi! I found your blog through the Multiples & More community on blogfrog.

I'm so glad your girls are ok!! But this did make me laugh a bit. I'm also glad that Dr. Google didn't freak you out even more. Somehow, I'm only ever able to find the scary stories when I need information desperately!

Our twins are just starting to be mobile; it sounds like we have a lot to look forward to...

Twinside Out said...

Hi! I found your blog through the Multiples & More community on blogfrog.

I'm so glad your girls are ok!! But this did make me laugh a bit. I'm also glad that Dr. Google didn't freak you out even more. Somehow, I'm only ever able to find the scary stories when I need information desperately!

Our twins are just starting to be mobile; it sounds like we have a lot to look forward to...

Kendra said...

Oh goodness! I would have panicked big time! You handled it with such grace =). So glad they are ok. And here's to another 365, huh? =)

Natalie said...

Whew! It's amazing what they'll put in their mouths, isn't it? One of my girls likes poop, the other likes dog food. Disgusting on both counts!

I know what you mean about risking fingers on those chompers...those things are dangerous!