just, well, just "un".
I feel stuck in this "un" rut while my garden blooms vibrantly, my husband adores me, and our healthy girls' laughter fills our home. It's a juxtaposition that weighs on my spirit. I know I'm missing out! I know these things I feel, they aren't really the case. So, I pray that God will help me in my unbelief.
The reason I keep a gratitude journal; pour my thanks out here each week is so that I constantly search for and actively seek joy. To find the extraordinary in the everyday.
This works most of the time.
But sometimes it's a struggle for me. My soul finds dark corners, and I get stuck there. I, ashamedly, forget my many blessings.
I struggle to love well. It pains me to write that.
Sometimes it's just so hard to love well.
But---I can do hard things.
I'm working on it, friends. I'm fighting to see joy! If I start sounding "un" around here---feel free to yell at me. You can even do it anonymously, if you want to.
Tomorrow is the second year I get to celebrate this gift of motherhood. It's going to be sunny and warm, which means cute girls in rompers---I can't wait!