Saturday, April 2, 2011

Dear Anonymous Commenter,

Since you didn't want to sign your name to the comment you left, I will address you here, in this public forum.

When you leave a comment telling me I'm wrong about something, but fail to own your comment by including your name, you are being a bully.

There are lots of different kinds of bullies, not just on the playground, or the locker room. People, like you, who bulldoze someone, then refuse to allow for conversation and dialogue, are bullies.

Why? Because you got to say what you wanted to say, you got to browbeat me, but I didn't have the opportunity to even engage.

You are basically saying: I'm right, and you're wrong. And I'm not going to give you any room to say otherwise.

That, my Anonymous Commenter, is being a bully. This is what we think about bullies around here:

Here's what makes me really sad, though, Anonymous Commenter: you quoted the Bible.

If you've ever wondered why Christians get such a bad rap--this is exactly why. Instead of coming to me, and lovingly pointing out the error in my thoughts, words, attitude, etc., you anonymously spewed a Bible verse in my face, and told me to be grateful.

Do you really think Jesus would have corrected me the way you did?

Here's the thing---I wish you would have emailed me, Anonymous Commenter, if you couldn't bear to leave your name along with your comment. My email is under the "Contact" tab at the top of my blog. I would have, and still am, happy to listen to what you have to say. I'd love to dialogue about it. Sometimes I'm wrong--it happens.

Good thing God loves you, me and those ladies at the park who called my daughter a boy--twice.


Julia Jenkins


I love comments. Who doesn't? I've connected with so many people through comments.

Having anonymous comments is an option. I don't have to allow them. I do allow them, and will continue to allow them, because it's often how friends, who are not bloggers, add their comments.

For the love, people---own your comments--we're all adults here! If you just can't put your name to the comment--email me! Just don't be a bully. No one likes bullies.


Krista said...

Ugh! This happened to me last month (3 anon commenters to be exact.) I was having a bad day and decided to vent ON MY VERY OWN BLOG! These anon commenters decided to come and correct me (similar to what happened here.) I think one of them even quoted Eleanor Roosevelt just to throw it back in my face. I too, chose to address the anon commnters with a second post...I just couldn't let it slide, because I too felt like I was being bullied.
I agree.....if you're going to put a comment up on someone's blog....wear your big girl panties and OWN IT!

Jessica said...

Kudos to you for addressing the "AC" in a much more gracious manner than I ever would. We are all adults so let's please converse in an open, honest manner.

Cheryl Lage said...

Beautifully done. Wish "Anonymous" wasn't even an option! (Actually, I think there MAY be a way to not allow anonymous comments via Blogger, unsure, but you sure have made me want to check!) A local online newspaper requests folks use their names when commenting on the forum, but then the AUTHORS (who are often quite the flamethrowers) simply use the byline "Staff Contributor!" Bullies are cowardly. If they hold their opinions strongly enough to voice them, SIGN 'em! :)

Peace to you---and don't let it discolor your experience of blogging. :)
(My book has a couple of choice less-than-pleasant reviews on Amazon...I'm fine with a bad review, and genuinely DO appreciate it when people sign their name! :) )

Corinne and Jason Ritz said...

Ohhhh.... WOW! I feel you handled that really well. Julia, you are one of the kindest most gracious women I know! And on top of that, if that wasn't enough, you are an incredible mommy!! I feel that I am qualified to say this since I have known you since we were 14 years old! As a mother of 5 myself, I can testify that mommy's have some pretty rough days, and you had every right to vent on your blog! I felt the original post was HILARIOUS! The situation at the park was told with humor. I was laughing out LOUD when I read it. That is one thing that I love about blogging. I feel way less alone in my beliefs, principals and general isolated motherhood. We've all been there, and I support you 100%!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

C'mon Anonymous! That original post was full of jest. What mom hasn't groaned, at least a little bit, at the array of very random (and sometimes intrusive) comments from strangers?! :) It doesn't mean you don't delight - and appreciate others' delight - in your children.

A very gracious response, Julia! Now shake it off and keep on blogging! :)