Mompetiors, Mompetition--Whatever, I'm Just Trying to Survive

So, before I even get going, I'll say this:

I am not going to create a post for every negative anonymous comment I receive. I write in a public forum, sometimes people aren't going to like what I say--that's part of this whole blogging gig. I am addressing this comment, only because, I want to encourage all the mamas out there.

The following comment was put on this post, Friday, regarding my Hadley's love for using foaming hand sanitizer:

You're creating a resistance strain for germs early on for your babies. When they are older and sanitizer doesn't work and they are sick all the time, I'm sure you will feel great about yourself. Babies need germs so their bodies can learn how to fight illness. As a chemist, I suggest for the sack (I think he/she meant sake?) of life and your children, you let nature take its course, I mean you are all about "organic" and "natural". So just let your babies be babies. You can't make them perfect.

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My friend Melissa wrote this great post awhile back about mompetitors.

Here's the thing--as a mom, I've learned a lot of things. Most importantly, I've learned never to judge another mom's choices.

I've done stuff I swore I would never do.

Breastfeeding vs. Formula
Organic vs. Non-Organic
Co-sleeping vs. Crib Sleeping
Babywearing vs. Strollers
Cry-it-out vs. No Cry-it-out
Pacifier vs. No Pacifier
Hand Sanitizer vs. No Hand Sanitizer--apparently

Whatever. This parenting thing is hard. Damn hard. Aren't we all just doing the very best we can?

You shouldn't feel one bit guilty if you weren't able to produce enough milk to breastfeed your baby(ies), or you can't afford to buy the $5.99 organic blueberries in the really tiny container.

You definitely shouldn't be made to feel guilty by another mom!

Come on mamas! As moms, we should support one another and the hard choices we make! Because, if you aren't a mom, let me tell you--it's all hard choices, and it doesn't get any easier!

I remember being pregnant, standing in Babies R Us sweating, because I couldn't decided what cribs to buy. That choice felt really challenging at the time.

Now I'm thinking about:

Which form of discipline do I use?
When do I stop breastfeeding and how?

There are always hard choices to make!

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So--I use this natural foaming hand sanitizer.

Why? Because RSV was all over our community this winter. I have a daughter with a heart defect. Heart defect + RSV = Bad News!

Even if RSV wasn't all over our community, I would have still used it though. Both the girls were sick at separate times this fall. It.was.miserable. I was holding sick-baby, but well-baby wanted attention too. All while my husband was out of town on business. I would do just about anything to avoid a repeat of that scenario.

So--maybe I am creating superbugs. The girls chew on their shoes. They chew on my shoes--can't stop em. Apparently they have a shoe fetish. That seems pretty germ-y to me.

Maybe my girls will be sick all the time, because I use foaming hand sanitizer. Am I going to feel "great about myself" when my girls are sick? Any mom feels terrible when their child is sick! I can't speak for everyone, but I would take it all, so that my girls would never be sick a day in their lives. At least that way all the vomit would end up in the toilet.

 This parenting thing? The hardest thing I've ever done. I'm sure many of you mamas would agree!

Why not, instead of throwing stones, encourage our fellow mama? Cheer her on? Offer helpful advice, if she asks for it. Or, if you must interject your opinion, do so lovingly, and remember that you have no idea what it's like to be in her shoes.

Here's the thing--I, we, are just trying to survive.