Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I Will Never...

If I could give you a bit of advice? Don't utter the words, "I will never..." when in comes to parenting.

Or, on second thought--do. Then you'll have something to laugh about later.

When Brad and I discovered that we were having twin girls, we vowed not to dress them alike.

At first, I think it was because we feared not being able to tell them apart. Then, it became about wanting them to be individuals, and treating them as such.

Two Sundays ago, it was a gorgeous day, so we decided to take the girls to the park.

As we were swinging, I could see it coming. She was smiling in our direction, she wanted to get our attention. And then, the question.
Lady: Are they twins?
Ugh! For whatever reason, I was not feeling particularly gracious that day. I pasted a fake grin on my face while my husband, graciously, answered:
He's so good at being succinct.

But, the lady wasn't satisfied, she had to comment:
Good thing you had a boy and a girl.
My fake grin is now gone, and I'm glaring. Brynne and Hadley both had pink on, and their cute little Pedipeds.

Again, my gracious husband to the rescue:
Actually, they are both girls. 
Lady: Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't see their shoes. 
As we're walking away, I tell Brad that I guess it's not a "good thing" anymore since we didn't have a boy and a girl. Really?! What kind of a comment is that?!

We walk around the corner, to get away from that lady, and we are accosted stopped by another lady.

It was like Groundhog Day. Sonny and Cher's, I Got You Babe, was cuing up again.
Lady: Are they twins?
Gracious husband: Yes
Lady: A boy and a girl?
Are you kidding me?! I think I might have audibly groaned.
Gracious husband: Two girls.
Lady: They are so beautiful (at least she felt bad about calling my daughter a boy!)

The next day I had to go to Target to get a few things. I decided, against our vowing and my I will nevers, that I would dress the girls identically.

I did this because, I just couldn't be gracious to one. more. person. who asked me if my two daughters, who are, clearly, the same age and size, are twins. AND, if this, well meaning, probably an old grandma, so much as thought that one of them was a boy, I might have punched her.

So, there you have it. I caved. My girls were twinkies for a day. And you know? It wasn't so bad.


Liz said...

Ah yes the "wonderful" comments from strangers. As my boys have gotten older I have gotten less comments.
I used to get stopped all the time when they were smaller.
I guess it's just about grinning and bearing it- God help us!

Anonymous said...

At least you didn't put those garish flower headbands on them. Babies are gender neutral in appearance. You don't have to dip them in pink...we know they are girls and that is all that matters. Dress those girls in whatever is clean and go about your day.

Oh, and a final note about "I will never"...remind me to tell you about putting an extremely fussy Benjamin on the FLOOR of the airplane to play! I'm pretty sure I broke about a dozen of my own rules in a single flight! Ewwww!

Shell said...

A favorite of mine...
Lady @ Walmart: "Aww! What a beautiful girl."
Me: Oh, he's a boy. (He was wearing black :)
Lady @ Walmart: "He would make a beautiful girl."
Me: Hmmm... (with a titled head and not so nice glare)

Alice Herren said...

I am eating my share of humble pie for all the "I'll never do/have" statements I have made in the past regarding how I'll parent. I can totally relate. Brynne & Hadley are absolutely gorgeous girls, Julia! I love the outfits :)

Jessica said...

We thought the insane comments/questions would dwindle after our B/G twins turned one. Unfortunately, we are still stopped...and the kids are approaching 2.75. At least now my responses have much more wit…due to all the practice, I’m sure!

Stacey said...

Oh I just love going out and anticipating what kind of funny comments we are going to get! I do have B/G and secretly wish that I could dress them the same, even just for a day...I always scoop up B/G coordinating outfits because they are hard to find. Your girls are gorgeous! Love the dresses...PS I got my Lil Rinser...LOVE IT! Thanks a million again! My 4 YO can now bath herself and wash her own hair.Hallelujah!!!

Heather said...

A lady once argued with me in Costco that my son was older because he's 5lbs bigger than my daughter. Eventually I agreed with her to be able to continue my shopping. We only just stopped getting the "Oh two boys or Oh two girls" for my b/g twins and they are almost 2. AND I dress my them pretty gender specific especially my daughter as pink is my favorite color and until she can tell me no she gets to wear it.

I have had to go back on the "I will never..." thing too now I don't say it except about teenagers and I'm sure in 12 years I'll be regretting those statements.

BTW I think your girls are very lovely and I would know they were girls.

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Our girls look very different (I think), and that seems to really throw people. Particularly when they were babies, some folks would comment on B's blue eyes...and seem to make the leap that A was a boy, since her eyes are brown. It was a bit funny, but also a little maddening.

One thing that cracks me up is that I have these stroller "liners" (I guess you call them) for our jogging stroller. For some reason the neon pink color was cheaper online than the other colors (maybe because it's NEON!), so that's what we have for both girls. NEON cannot miss it! People will STILL say question if we have B/G twins!!! Hahaha!!!

Olusola said...

Well, howabout this: yesterday I had my girls in similar oufits, but one was pink and one was green. Their soon-to-be-daycare provider referred to the baby in pink as "He". I believe my "she's wearing pink!" may have sounded a bit exasperated

Twinside Out said...

We get a lot of gender confusion too, only everyone assumes both babies are boys.

What really frustrates me is when people find out they're b/g, and then ask if they are identical. Especially people who should know the nurse in the hospital after they were born. "Oh, how cute! A boy and a girl! Are they identical?" Ummm, no. And I'd like a different nurse, please. ;)

Kendra said...

My personal favorite "I'll never..." was buying a minivan =) And we LOVE ours!!

Ordinary Girl said...

I feel like having babies at all opens you up to all kinds of questions from strangers that they shouldn't be asking. Just because I have a baby doesn't mean I feel like being friendly and chatting all the time and it certainly doesn't mean that I want to tell you all my personal business. Drives me crazy!

Cyndi said...

Julia! you won the giveaway on my blog! send me your email address and I will send you a list of the choices!

Anonymous said...

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Rejoice in people wanting to share in the joy of your children! They are well intentioned!